Word Vomit

Went to the Taste of Chaos Tour concert Wednesday night. It was definitely an experience I won't forget. First, it was my first concert ever like that. The bands were all really good for the most part. Second part of the whole experience, Jason and I were in the pit the whole time, consisting of some moshing, crowd surfing, and lots of sweaty people all breathing down each other's necks. That was fun for a while till we started getting kicked in the head and stuff and then I felt really sick towards the end. Jason rescued me and me made our way out of the crowd and left the concert. Overall, a good night!!!! I took Jason home Thursday. The weather was getting bad and I had hoped hey would cancel night classes so I wouldn't have to go back to school, of course they didnt'. When class was over the roads were slick and getting icey, NOT SO SAFE JMU!!!! Friday some people came over here, a couple of Katey's friends and then Steve, Liesel, and Kara came over. We played some beer pong, drank a bit, good times. I went to Charlottesville early in the morning on Saturday. Pawli came to pick me up so we could go on our class field trip to Monticello and UVA. It turned out to be a pretty good day, it wasnt too cold and it wasn't snowing or raining, so that was good. My teacher Justin just talks too much. When I got home from C-ville I packed up myself and headed to Winchester to see Jason. I played with his mom's step granddaughter for a little bit while Jason, Ian, and John played Starcraft. I have to say I'm a little jealous that I don't know how to play video games, I'm absolutely wretched at them. Maybe one day I'll take some time and learn or at least improve a little. I learned MarioGolf the other week, WOOHOO!!!! So that's a start. After the guys left Jason and I went to Wal-Mart, nothing new there, but you gotta at least check it out, it would be unnatural not to. When we got home we played Lord of the Rings Monopoly. I won, so that's all you need to know...LOL. Actually, Jason is amazing at Monopoly, it was just by chance that I won, even though he claims I cheated, my calculations were a little off, but I corrected them and still won. Sunday, aka yesterday, we spent the whole day watching all the extended version Lord of the Rings. Amazing movies, really, but I really don't have the attention span to do them all in one sitting, but I'm glad we attempted it, and I'm glad Jason made it all the way through. I came back to H-burg this morning. I didn't really want to leave, but this big snow storm they've been talking about pushed me down the road. 81 was just fine, no problems there, I don't know how it is now, but I imagine that VDOT is right on top of things, making sure that we will have to go to school tomorrow. So anyways, I'm out for now. I hope things continue like the weekend, can't wait to be home for Spring Break, that's right, starts FRIDAY!!!! PS: HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY KEVIN, MATT, RICH, & DANNY!!!!!

Still being reminded I'm alive, still trying to figure out if it's worth it...

Yesterday was valentine's day. I wasn't really sure how it was going to turn out, and it turned out to be one of the best ever. Started off with a V-day kiss at midnight that followed a rousing game of monopoly, which I lost, badly. My daddy got me a card and left it on the seat of my car for me to find in the morning, as usual. I wasn't sure it was going to be there this year since I've been kind of a brat lately, or at least so they say. I read it in my car when I got to work and I cried a little, it just meant a lot. I left work and spent the day with Jason hanging out. Then I went home when he had to go to class and had dinner with my family. My mom and dad gave me valentine's presents. I got Shrek 2 and a crystal elephant, it's really pretty. I went back to Jason's after his class and stayed the night. We had to go to Wal-Mart for some TP and some other stuff, then we went home for the night. Everything is going well for the moment. I really hope this all works out. I know that I am hopeful, and I'd like to think that I'm not that naive. And just so I don't say anything too gay, I'll put this, "Thinking gay thoughts!" :-)

I want to be big but not so big that a mountain or a mosque or a synogogue seems small. I want to be strong but not so strong that a kite seems weak. I want to be old but not so old that Mars and Jupiter and redwoods seem young. I want to be fast but not so fast that lightning seems slow. I want to be wise but not so wise that I can't learn anything. I want to be beautiful but not so beautiful that a train moving in the sun like a metal peacock's glowing feather on tracks are like stilts a thousand miles long laid down like a ladder up a flat mountain (wow!) seems dull. I want to be green but not so green that I can't also be purple. I want to be tall but not so tall that nothing is above me. Up must still be somewhere, with clouds and sky. I want to be quiet but not so quiet that nobody can hear me. I also want to be sound, a whole orchestra with two bassoons and an army of cellos. Sometimes I want to be just the triangle, a tinkle that sounds like an itch. I want to be still but not so still that I turn into a mannequin or get mistaken for a tree. I want to be in motion but I want the ants in my pants to sometimes take a vacation. Sometimes I want to be slow but not so slow that everything passes me by. Sometimes I want to be small but not so small that I am easy to miss. About the size of the thought of a bud before it opens and becomes a universe in which bees orbit like planets. Sometimes I want to be invisible but not gone. Sometimes I want to be weightless and floating on air, able to fly when I want to and able to stay on the ground when I feel like it. I want to be a leaf that is part canoe riding the water as if it's a liquid horse. I want to be comfortable in all elements. I want to be language, a way to share thoughts... I want to be all the people I know, then I want to know more people so I can be them too. Then they can all be me. I want to be a new kind of earthquake, rocking the world as if it's a baby in a cradle. I want to be eyes looking, looking everywhere. I want to be ears hearing, hearing everything. I want to be hands touching, touching everything. I want to be mouth tasting, tasting everything. I want to be heart feeling, feeling everything. I want to be life doing, doing everything. That's all. ~ exerpt from "I Want To Be" a book by Thylias Moss. I read this book yesterday. It's a children's book, but oh how I want to be all the things the little girl in the story wants to be. And I want everything to work out so that everyone ends up being happy.

I want to be all the things I thought I could never be... and I don't want to be scared anymore...

I seemed to have taken a break from updating. Only a couple days though, no big deal, right? This weekend was very good. It always seems like it ends too soon, it makes everytime I have to say goodbye a little harder, and the time until I see you again a little longer. Ok, all inclusive again. So I went home Thursday night. Buffalo Wild Wings anyone? Yes, we went to BWW's, and then, guess where? Did you say BAM? YAY!!!! You WIN! WIN! WIN! I miss routine a lot. I really don't have one here at all. Then after BAM, I went to Jason's. Friday, I was supposed to go to lunch with Anthony, but got stood up when the sleepy head didn't wake up, but it worked out in my favor. Friday night we went cosmic bowling. Me, Jason, Kevin, Mike, and Michelle all bowled. I get so excited when I bowl well. My average has improved so much since league. Cosmic bowling is expensive though, however, I had coupons. After bowling, we went to Denny's. You know, it seems like we have a designated after activity for each activity that we do, kinda fun, and yet, kinda predictable. But Denny's was swell too. Friday night had it's definite awkward moments, but again, worked itself out fine. Saturday, Jason and I went shopping in Hagerstown. Everything was on sale, end of the season equals great bargains, too bad I didn't buy anything!!! We came back here Saturday night. My sister, Heather, and Josh, her bf, came down. Me, Jason, Clint, Nathan, Emily, Heather, and Josh went to Dave's Taverna downtown to hear Nate Bright's band play. They did a good job while we were there, too bad we didn't go once around the dance floor. We came home kinda early from there and drank more at the apt and played some drinking games. I had fun, I don't know about everyone else. Sunday, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!!! Nathan got a bunch of food and HE made wings. They were really good, Good job Nathan!!! Steve, Liesel, Clint, Nathan, Ann, Jason, and I watched the game. After every touchdown we communicated through the wall to our neighbors a celebration. Go Pats!!! Took Jason home after the Simpson's. We didn't get back till late. I came back today, got here around 1pm and really did nothing. What in the heck is wrong with me?!?!? I need someone to light a fire under my butt to get me goin. Good thing I'm not a gasy person, eh? Nathan went to the car dealeship today to talk some numbers on a new car. I'm excited. It's like a family here, I can't wait to beg "dad" to let me drive the new car!!!! So anyways, I guess you all are caught up, any questions or comments should be directed to the "comments" section, which has been feelin' a little neglected, Jenn, I blame you!!! J/K. But I'm out, more to be spewed later.

So today was a very productive day for me, considering I only had one class to go to. Nathan came and woke me up at I guess about 10:30, cause our electric had gotten shut off. My fault, of course, cause I forgot to pay the bill. Whoopsy!!! So Nathan and I went to pay the bill and the fantastic people at HEC had the power back on lickity split, before we even got back to the apt. Great!!! So then I did some work on a paper that I have been needing to turn in, I'm still a bum, you must remember. I can't pull a complete 360 in a day. I went to class though, prepared, I had done my reading for the day and the assignment to go with it, which allowed me to participate, WEEHOO!!! Then after class, I went to the dark room, to finish a project that was due a week ago. I got it finished in record time I would say, I did three photograms, three enlargements, and two contact sheets, very impressive. LOL. Then I came home, talked on the phone for a few minutes, changed my clothes and went to the gym. I got home at like 10:30pm, I guess. Now see, wasn't that productive? On the agenda for tomorrow. get up early to write quick paper, go to all classes, and then finish other paper. Gym after that, or something. I dunno. Also trying to figure out my weekend plans. I don't know if I am traveling or staying put. I might go home to visit someone (wink). I'm going to bed now though. Good Night!!!

P.P.S. Blog lies!!! This post was written on the first!!!!

P.S. HUGE SMILE :-D