Word Vomit

I can change the color now on this thing when I update, HOTDIGGITY!!!! So I found out why my I.E. wasn't working... 'cause it was an out of date piece of crap!!! So now I'm using Firefox. It loads a lot faster and so far I have no qualms(sp) with it...so far, much better than Safari which I also tried out.

I watched all of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas this weekend. The first time I attempted it I thought it would be pretty good. There were some parts that I thought were really funny, but as it went on, I just got lost and it wasn't that great, maybe I didn't get it. Maybe Ann was right, maybe I just needed to be able to relate to the movie a little more, but I'll just take her word for it.

I had a really good weekend this weekend. Hanging out with everyone on Friday was awesome and the weekend only got better, at least I thought anyways. Like I said before, there was an important talk that made me feel a lot better about some things. Only at the same time I don't really know how the talk will affect anything. I guess I'll keep waiting it out.

On that same note, I broke a trust a bit. I told a secret that I shouldn't have told and I know I'll have to hear about it a lot for a long time, but I have to say that I'm sorry and I hope that it didn't do too much damage.

I'm supposed to go home on Thursday night for Apple Blossom this weekend, but I don't know if I will come home then or early on Friday morning, cause I don't know what I'm gonna do Thursday night. If anyone wants to hang out, call me, call me, call me!!! I really don't want to sit at home or drive around.

Apple Blossom should be pretty fun. I'll get to see a lot of people. Don't know yet who I'll spend the bulk of it with. I know my family for some. The only thing I know for sure about the weekend is that I am going to a luncheon on Friday with my mom and my sister. Those are always pretty fun.

I have a lot of work to get done this week. I hope it all gets accepted from my teachers, everyone keep their fingers crossed. This is the worst semester school wise that I have ever had in my life. I so need a break to figure things out, but that ain't gonna happen. On the bright side my plan for taking a break from art and then missing it worked. I'm really looking forward to my art classes next semester. I'm gonna be painting again and tryin to take photography for the third time. It's always the same with the things I love, I don't want to do them if someone tells me that I have to, but I suppose I'll have to get over that or not, cause I can handle it if they pay me. :P

Exams are next week and then I get to come home and work again!!! Yippee!!! I still hear the golfers calling my name, "Brittany, come bring us beer and snacks!!!" Oh wait, that might be my roommates. But I get to play outside again all the time!!! I also will be working at the Free Clinic for a little, finishing up that pesky community service. It's not that bad though, cause in reality, I like volunteering. Oh that's an idea, maybe I'll go work at the Free Clinic on Thursday night. If anyone else is interested, you should come along, they are really busy then and could use the volunteers, the more help they get, the faster they can get out of there.

Alright, I've blabbered enough, I'm gone for now.

Yesterday was Emily Jerome's b-day and last night Claire threw a party for her. Mostly everyone was there except for a few key people, but it was still a really great time. I met a lot of new people and I've been over to Claire's when they have been there before, but I feel like I might have been a douche then and didn't say anything, maybe just shy and not a douche, but everyone I met was really cool and I hope we'll get to hang out some more. I talked to Neeve (I hope I spelled that right) for the first time last night. That's Emily, Jeff, and Myke's neighbor. She was really cool and we took a walk and had a really long conversation. But seriously everyone else I met was really cool too.

Steve and Liesel showed up later in the night and Steve's band friends were having a party just under Claire's place. So I went down there for a few minutes way later in the night and they were having arm wrestling competitions. Steve convinced Liesel and I to have a match and guess who won? No, seriously, guess who won, cause I'm not gonna tell you. I went back upstairs and pretty much everyone had cleared out. That was kind of the beginning of the more serious part of the evening/night/morning.

I had a pretty intense conversation with with someone who doesn't really remember what was said. I know he doesn't usually say things he doesn't mean drunk or not, but I really hope it wasn't the alcohol talking. Not that anything can really be done right now about it anyways, I know that's not in my hands. But the night ended saying goodbye and not wanting to let go, but we'll see what happens. More blogging to come...

Welp, another day gone, another day closer to being home. Today was kind of a boring day so far. Had to keep myself entertained cause Ann was in class all day, Nathan is MIA, and Katey was at work. So I watched a little bit of Aladdin and then I had to go see if my artwork got into the undergrad show or not. Steve rode along with me to make sure that my car would be ok parked in the lot while I went into Duke, so that was a the start of entertainment. Then I dropped him off and I was alone again. I rode past Liesel's place but I didn't see her car, so it was on to Charlie O'Baugh's to bug Katey at work. She didn't mind though, she likes the company. I hung out there for like an hour or so. Then I remembered I had to pick Steph up at 4:45, so I whipped over there and snagged her up just in time. Then we rode by Burger King and got some grub. I came home and Kateygirl and I hung out for a bit 'til Brent got here. Soon Nathan (Tic), Brent's brother, came over and then we watched a movie. We watched Oxygen, one of Ann's favorites, sorry Ann that you weren't here. I also cleaned the bathroom today, it was pretty groady, I washed all my towels and cleaned out my car. Now I'm just chillin' until 10. I gotta pick Steve up from work and take him to his gig at TDU. If you get this before 11 or even after but before 1:00am then come over to TDU and check out Steve's band The Secret Agents. Liesel and I are going, it's gonna be mad fun!!! That wraps it up for now, I'll prolly go to bed when I get home from the show, so have a good night everyone.

It's the second update of the day, my head is ready to blog. So I already talked a little bit about the concert. Yes, it was AWESOME!!! Some people didn't want to hear about it, I don't know why and I feel like I am like a Backstreet Boys missionary spreading the word that they are back together and have a new album coming out. To me it doesn't seem like they had been apart for that long, but apparently it was like four years. So today was a pretty fun day of just hanging out. this morning Liesel came and got me and Nathan and we went on a Stever hunt. We went to see if he was roaming the streets of H-burg like a lost pup or if he was still at BAM doing his interview thinger. Liesel, Nathan, and I rode around sending out the conch sounding STEVER call, "Toooooooooine!!!" Sadly, no response. But luckily we found him at BAM. He was still taking his test so the rest of us went to Taco Bell. MMMmmmm, two soft taco kids meal with nachos, yum. Then Liesel dropped me off and then not too long after I went and got her. We went to Charlie O'Baugh, a car dealership, and tried to win a new car. There was this push button game with on-star. It was interesting, but we didn't win (sad face). We left the dealership and went back to Liesel's and hung out like all day, playing on the computer and then we watched Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill. I left there around 6:00pm and came home. Ann and I went and got some Sheetz for dinner, GASOLINE, no no, chef salad. Then we all piled into Katey's Blazer and went down to the river at Will's house. They fished and the majority of us hung out. It was so nice and peaceful. Katey and I went for a 4-wheeler ride. Katey, "If you find yourself in an open field pissing beside your 4-wheeler with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, you might be a redneck!" We came home shortly after, and here I am. So good day overall. I thought it was gonna be pretty shitty, but friends can do so much for moods.

Steve and I went to see the Backstreet Boys Monday in concert. We left Monday afternoon and headed south to Norfolk to see the Boys at the Norva. The Norva is a smaller club-like venue like that the 9:30 Club. There was probably a little over 1000 people there. The show was really awesome and I was surprised that I got into it so much. We sang and danced and had a really good time. The car ride was quite long, but it seemed to go by really fast. We talked a lot in the car and sang along to mixed CD's. I felt bad for Steve for having to listen to me sing, cause I've been sick and I was WAY off key. I feel like I will write more about this later. But today I woke up in kind of an icky mood. I hope it doesn't last all day, but I see there being potential. One day hopefully sooner rather than later this whole mess will be straightened out or forgotten or something. Something just so that I can feel good all the time again, cause these little blibs of happiness just arent cutting it at all.

Weekends start on Friday right, so we'll start there. I got up early Friday morning to go to the doctor at the health center. A waste of time that was. She told me to just keep taking my robitussin and if i wasn't better by Monday then to come back, well guess what, it's Monday and I'm not better so looks like I gotta wasted some more time at the health center. After that I went to class, it was entertaining as usual. For any of you at JMU interested in taking a great class, Classroom Management with Dave Herr is exceptional or if you would like to come with me to class, GUESTS ARE WELCOME!!!! I did some laundry later and then my sister came to pick me up around 4:30 to go to Radford for Quadfest weekend. We went to a couple bars Friday night, then on Saturday I saw a bunch of people I knew around campus, several from Winchester and several that I used to go to school with there at Radford. Forrest came by with Mallory and Jenna to Susan's apartment and then we went to some party for a quick trip in on mine and Susan's part. Then Susan and I met up with Heather, Leslie, and Mike at BT's (restaurant/bar). We hung out there for a little bit and drank a little bit and then we went back to Susan's to unwind before going out again. Only I was unwinding to stay in. My cold was really getting the best of me and the few drinks I had probably weren't helping matters. So around 10 something my crew went out and I stayed in at Susan's apt and watched some TV and had some lovely telephone conversation. After going to bed, I accidentally forced Susan out of the room because of my coughing, I felt really bad cause she went and slept on the floor. But the next morning I guess we all got up and got our stuff together to come home. I got home a little later than I had really wanted, but I wasn't driving so I didn't have too much control over that. When I got home Katey and I went for a drive over to Bridgewater to get Megan's keys that she left. On our way back we picked up Megan's car off of Devon Lane only to find that it had been hit. So we called the cops when we got back and waited out in the parking lot for an hour or so for someone to come. We didn't mind though cause it was so nice out. I tried to study last night, but the majority of my attempt failed. So I have my test this morning and I have some knowledge of what's going on, but I think for the most part, I'm just going to wing it. This afternoon Steve and I are leaving for our roadtrip to Norfolk to see THE BACKSTREET BOYS, secretly I'm really excited. This is the first boyband performance I have seen since the New Kids on the Block back in 1991, I think. So currrent mood is excited about life events/activities, but still kind of ugh. Like I still feel really cruddy about some situations, but I'm doing my best to try to stay optimistic and hide that for the most part. But it's still a major influence on how I feel. I'm out for now, got more studying to do, that damn test is at 9.

Sometimes life is just hard. I'll update about the weekend a little later, but as for right now, I kinda feel blah, with a lot of things on my mind, and a lot of things that I don't want to be thinking about. Good Night!!!

So I went home last night for no real reason other than just to hang out. I met Jason at BAM and we hung out for a little bit while waiting for Kevin so we could go get some food. Kevin met up with us there and we couldn't all agree on a place to eat so Kevin went to get Chinese food and Jason and I got Arby's and then we all rendezvoused at Kevin's office to eat and hang out a bit. A few good chats were had. Jason left and I stuck around at Kevin's for a bit and hung out with him, then I went and hung out with Jason a little longer. We went to Wal-Mart and Jason bought a vacuum and steam cleaner for his mom for mother's day or for today cause he couldn't wait to give it to her. I got up early this morning to come back to Harrisonburg at about 7:30 so I could make it back to my class. Mission accomplished. Now I'm just waiting for my mom to get here. She's bringing me a couple of my artworks that we had framed and now I'm going to enter them in the student show. I can't wait to see them. She's also gonna take some of my winter stuff home and I guess maybe some other stuff. Moving out is right around the corner and I got a lot of shit to move. I've been sick this week with a real bad cold or sinus infection of some sorts. I don't mind being sick too much, but I hate HATE hate coughing, pretty much cause then I'm even annoying to myself. I have an appointment at the health center in the morning, hopefully they will give me a perscription to knock this crap out of me. Also in other news, I'm leaving for Radford tomorrow for quadfest and to visit some friends and cousin Susan. It should be really fun. Then Saturday the actual day of quadfest, I'll prolly take in some of those activities and then find my way over to Tech later in the afternoon to see the Races to April show. Congratulations to them for getting this show and I hope everyone is helping them out trying to win a spot on the Warped Tour by clicking and listen to only Races to April at this link http://battle.ernieball.com/battlebak/bb9/bands/racestoapril/ . Sunday I'll come home and study for the rest of the day, hopefully, cause I have my make-up exam in my art history class on Monday morning. After the test Steve and I are on our way to Norfolk to see, get ready for this cause I know you'll be jealous, THE BACKSTREET BOYS!!!! I'm sure it will be a blast. Who doesn't love a boy band, be honest! After all the running this weekend though I'm gonna have to hit the books hard and see what I can pull out of my ass to try to salvage this semester. Overall mood has improved for those of you curious, still not all the way back to myself, but getting there. As long as we can keep it real things are going to be fine, 19 days!!!

I don't have much to say right, but I still wanted to update. A lot of things are going on and I don't have answers for anything. I don't have control over much and I just can't wait until school is done. I need a solid routine badly and a source of income. Thank you to all of my friends though for standing by me, without YOUR support, I really can't say where I would be. I hope I can return the favor to all of you someday.

What is it that I can't get over? I've been having mixed feelings of great and crap. I feel great that I get to talk all the time. I still wait for the phone to ring. I would put everything on hold for even just one minute of talking to him. My day doesn't end until I get to hear the sound of his voice. He still means everything and I can't shake the feeling. I can't shake the nervousness, I can't shake the excitement, I can't shake the joy. I can't stand it. Clenching the pillow, I'll try to fall alseep.